Ten Reasons: Autumn is Bloody Brilliant

I cannot believe it is the last day of August. To me that says it’s the last day of summer and we are now going to have to resign ourselves to the fact that bare legs and flip flops are no longer acceptable. And dig out those sweatshirts, wooly tights and boots. (YES!!)

I love autumn, because you get all the good parts of winter without freezing your tits off. (That’s a technical term by the way for the temperature dropping below 5 degrees celsius).
Thought I’d treat us all to a listicle of why we should look forward to autumn and wave goodbye to summer.

Ten Reasons Why Autumn is Bloody Brilliant.
1) Telly gets good on a Saturday again. Apart from the fact that Harry Potter has been shown all summer there is absolutely naff all to look forward to. I don’t care if you love or hate X-factor, its part of British law that on a Saturday : “Thou shalt sit down with a takeaway and listen to Simon Cowell insult people.”

2) Covering body parts. Hurray! It is no longer acceptable for Mr Smith down the road to walk to the shop with his hairy back and beer belly out! And you don’t have to worry about ‘slimming for that summer body’ rubbish anymore. Do you know why? Because it’s going to be covered in 300 layers of wool! Another positive is because you’re legs are thick with tights and jeans you can go a few more days without shaving your legs and no one will know. I won’t tell if you don’t!

3) Stews. YES OMGOMGOMG. I can stick some veg and meat and gravy in a slow cooker, go to work and that is acceptable to eat for the next three days. I will eat stew until it comes out of my eyeballs. I don’t ever get bored, this week its chicken, next it’s beef, I’m having this one with Yorkshire puds, tomorrow dumplings… amazing! So many options. I think I’m going to bring out a stew recipe book because I just think it’s so underrated! Easy and healthy **

**healthy if you don’t stick loads of gravy in it or have your bowl made up of 75% dumpling.

4)Flavours. This seems a bit weird but you can guarantee that September rolls around, and all the good flavoured stuff comes out. Costa and Starbucks start doing pumpkin and cinnamon and ginger and all that jazz. And my mum shouts at me for this but all the good flavoured candles come out too!(“They are called scents Rochelle, not flavours!” Yeah yeah.)

5) Dark nights. YEY! On one night in October we get an extra hour in bed and I won’t feel guilty going to bed at 8pm because its dark outside! You’re allowed! And dark nights mean its getting a little colder so I can finally put my heating on. (I’ve been freezing for about 2 months but its not acceptable to have your heating on Summer and people judge you alot.)

6) I don’t have to paint my toe nails until next March because I will be living in tights and boots. I won’t even know what my feet look like. I will put socks on in a morning, come home and replace socks with slippers and then the cycle repeats. I’m glad that I don’t have hairy toes because by the time spring came around I’d be tripping over them haha!

7)Halloween. I absolutely love halloween. I love a good halloween night out, and going out looking as ugly as I possibly can and not caring! I also really like sweets and everyone has sweets around halloween time! Last year I went out as a “zombie Beauty” from Beauty and the beast and let me tell you, I did not look beautiful. My friend spent about 2 hours doing my make up to look like I’d been killed by the beast, and I had black contacts in which had dried up half way through the night and were just scratching my iris but I still had the best night!

8) Bonfire Night. Martyn think’s I’m a bit sad because all fireworks are the same ra ra ra… but I love fireworks. I always get all goosebumpy and emotional when I watch them. I also really like hotdogs… haha why does everything seem to revert back to food with me?? Anyway yeah hotdogs, toffee apples, burgers, jacket potatoes.

9) You are one season away from Christmas! YEYYY. I love Christmas. I love buying Christmas presents and that’s socially acceptable in autumn too because all the christmassy bits come out in the shops! I saw a Christmas tree in a pub a couple of days ago and we are in August so another two weeks and I will be knee deep in tinsel I’m sure of it!

10) I’m combining a few more of my favourite things but under the collective header of nature! Conkers, fallen leaves and spiders. Right… hear me out, I am not the biggest fan of spiders but do you know what I hate more? Mosquitoes and moths and daddy longlegs and when the spiders come back the flies piss off! Good Riddance! I am sick of being bitten from head to toe! The fallen leaves still look pretty and haven’t turned into a stodgy mess yet and I miss conker collecting so so much!!